I used to get quite sentimental at this time of this year and if I didnt watch it, I could get myself into quite a " state" . Initially I thought it was because I was on my own and then I remembered times when I was in a relationship and still felt very alone.
I realise now that it had to do with noone else but me... that feeling of aloneness and not belonging anywhere had to do with my own discomfort with myself... the various characters I focussed on ....about what they did and didnt do,were distractions and excuses that kept me from fixing my life, instead they fuelled my "story"
We all have a "story" and sometimes we fall into a rut where we buy into our "story" to the point that we will do anything to defend our "story" ...times when we say..." you dont understand who hard its been to .....(fill in the blank) ... " But who are we kidding?... ourselves!!
These days, when I get that lump in my throat or knot in my stomach... I think " how interesting, what do I need to draw my attention to now, and what gift does this situation bring for me?"
When I do that, i free myself from the drama and I can focus on what's working in my life and there are so many things that work in my life.
My gorgeous children, my beautiful home, my wonderful family, the great people I work with and my loving and kind friends. Yes there are bits in my life that can "scare" the life out of me if I focus too much on them ...its all about balance and turning around every now and then to see how far I have come....and its been a terrific ride!
I read something today that reflects the way I feel about Christmas, we dont know who wrote it but whoever did, really understood the essence of Christmas :
"Every time a hand reaches out
To help another….that is Christmas
Every time someone puts anger aside
And strives for understanding
That is Christmas
Every time people forget their differences
And realize their love for each other
That is Christmas
May this Christmas bring us
Closer to the spirit of human understanding
Closer to the blessing of peace!"
Peace in the world outside begins with us feeling peaceful within ourselves .....and that comes from being grateful for what we have and acknowledging ourselves for our own personal journey in life. Happy Christmas!
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