"He fights no more in War!...

An interesting thought came to me this morning. I was thinking about inner conflicts and the energy that surrounds it .  I notice that I am sometimes not even aware that I am conflicted. I get into "auto pilot" and get lost in the day that I sometimes forget to "check in " on what I am feeling. and its not anything big, its just everyday events, ...conflict between what i must do  and what I want to do... people I want to meet vs people I have to meet... and then, there are more familiar conflicts ...its got to do with what I think of myself on  the inside vs what I want to project of myself to the external world!
In some ways, its what we are used to, its a part of life having to deal with duality and polarity. And yet I remember times when there's been a raging "war" inside of me. That's just me...one person .. If I take that and multiply it by the number of people I know and if I  make  that picture bigger by taking into account  all of the people in our planet .... this builds a scary picture for me.  If our thoughts are energy and are made of the same stuff that everything else around us is made of and if we are a part of everything else... then the my inner conflict is connected to the external conflicts in the world. That  thought makes me very conscious of my thoughts and the energy I project into  the world.  The words from a song called The warriors prayer by Tim Wheater come to mind " He fights no more in war!"
I am not sure if we can completely do away with conflict as I think its a necessary part of life and it helps us clarify what's important to us. It is a process of life,  but when we get sucked into the " drama or content" and cant lift ourselves out to rise above it... then we suffer and our suffering adds to the suffering of the world. And it is this suffering that causes wars in us and around us. We get connected to the details and forget to step back to see what is really happening... usually its a call for recognition, love, appreciation or acceptance ... how hard is that?... to give to ourselves or others around us?? This is what I am thinking of today.  Follow youtube to Stuart Wilde's warriors prayer, its warms my spirit and inspires me :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HlLpl8L3h8E

Married to amazement !

"When it's over, I want to say I have been a bride married to amazement, I've been a bridegroom taking the world into my arms." — Mary Oliver
I was looking up something on the net with a friend, when we came across this phrase and both of us laughed and she suggested that I change my facebook profile to "married ...to amazement" . This was exactly what my friend needed  to hear as we were talking about relationships and how  some people prefer to stay married because they are so afraid of being alone...  well ....not if you are married to amazement! You will never be alone!
So tonight I started thinking about what this means....what would a person's life look like if they were " married to amazement" ??
I guess, this person would be laughing alot, having fun, going with the flow...generally enjoying their life journey. Here lies  the difference,
it is about an attitude to life....embracing life and celebrating the wonder and not being too hung up on the outcome.
When I got married, we only had one "agreement" ....and it said " Life is good with you and Life is good without you" ...meaning... "I am not going to curl up and die if things didnt work out". Both of us will still be ok." It took us away from the " destination" we wanted to get to and helped us focus on the journey instead. It worked for a while.... it probably worked as long as it needed to....you see, there is a bigger scheme of things ( most times we only see parts of it ) but we need to trust that everything that is happening, is happening for our highest good... breathe deep and dive into life. There is a song by Martika that goes " Love, thy will be done "... when I think of this, I see myself, standing on a mountain top, arms raised up to the heaven's and allowing all goodness and power to flow to me from above...and then taking a deep breath and jumping off the edge of that mountain. And when I fall, i float like a feather, and I get to go on different adventures ...floating in the arms of a gentle breeze that takes me from place to place. 
The choice to live like that is a moment to moment choice.....its almost like if we make a pact with life by saying " I will give 100 percent to each moment and you (Life) will  look after me and help me learn and do what I came to do in this life time"  and that's all we have to do...just do our part and let life amaze us with what it brings to us" 

"Heartful" Lover....

I was listening to an old song this morning and it was about how lovers have a language of their own...called "lovers speak" by Joan Armatrading. It was given to me some years ago by someone I loved dearly and whenever I heard it, I would feel a sense of regret.... that relationship had to end. However, this morning when I heard it....it was different. It made me smile....this sentence in particular :

"lovers walk a looser tightrope...with feathers thrown upon the ground"

It made me think about how people are when  they are in love.... it is  a time when everything is wonderful, and we are so grateful for all our blessings...because our heart is open.

Why do we only limit such an experience to when we are in love?... and i am speaking about the early stages of love... after a while we fall into a routine - the chores take over and we sometimes even forget to see the blessings.

What if we could all be lovers of life and call upon that state that we get into when we just fall in love.... this is what made me smile!

I was thinking about how we limit our view of love to just our family, children and partner and how we so badly need to love everyone and everything in the same way by recognising that part in us that connects us to all of life around us. Its not my idea... lots of spiritual leaders speak about this and Echkart Tolle in his book " a New Earth" says that we are all connected and that what separates us is the ego's need to take ownership and label things and relationships.

So this is where I am at today : connecting to that inner essence to everything around me"  and seeing beneath the identities and labels"  That makes me very happy. All of us want to be loved and for me the only way to do that is to embrace that opportunity to love right now ...wherever we are at this point in time.

part time dog....

I am setting up my home office- I will be working from home and working half time. Its an easy thing for me to do as one of the things I have learnt in running my own business for several years is that you don't get attached to anything. Everything has to keep moving.... changing shape and form...its a part of life. I have moved offices and houses so many times that I have lost count...the good thing about it, is that you get to clean up the "junk" that collects over time and cull.

This last office move was the same, whilst I got rid of many things, every item I chose to keep is a memory of some sort. When I sit in my new office, what i see are my friends ... I feel like I am surrounded by friends and loved ones... thats kind of special. Here's why.......the things i have chosen to keep are things that remind me of them.  some examples :

1. Amethyst geode - my acupuncturist carried it to my office and gave it to me, he selected it personally for me (  6 months ago)
2. Three kaleidoscopes -one  given to me by my sister and the other my business partner- both make me smile ( 20 years ago) a recent addition given by another close friend  ( 1 year ago)
3. A big porcelain plate with a "hundred children " theme - given by my good friend, she hand carried it from indonesia for me ( 10 years ago)
4. a small porcelain bird - given to me by an elderly lady I met whilst climbing the statue of liberty and we became friends, she has passed on since. ( 25 years ago)
5. A blue and white elephant tea pot - given to me by my assistant  (25 years ago)
4. A tiny porcelain statue of a chinese man that used to sit on one of my father's bonsai plants ( 1year + - he passed away about a year ago and he had it for 30 years)

There are so many other bits and pieces including the cupboard behind me...even that was given by friend.
 These items remind me of occasions.... christmas parties, shopping trips, travels and friendships.

At the end of the day its not about what business deals we won or targets we achieved, ... all that is nice...it gives us some excitement but it fades away over time. What stands out more in our minds are times when we felt loved or cared for ...its about friendships, special bonds ... and experiences...makes me feel very rich and very blessed...what else can a wandering dog ask for?

my friend ...the dragonfly

There is a gift waiting for us within every challenge we face. Sometimes we cant see it straight away but its there. And even though I know this, there are times when I get really frustrated or impatient with myself because I cant see the "gift" in the situation. Its got to do with the state I am in . I find that when I am in a space of gratitude , things flow freely and effortlessly ... I find answers and see things clearly. There is no agitation, instead a sense of peace , a sense of knowing that everything will take care of itself..... I just have to turn up and be fully present in the moment.

The times when it doesnt work for me are when I try to hold on to this experience ...when you see a butterfly or dragonfly in the garden ... you dont try to hold on to it... you watch it... you be with it for a while by noticing its colours and enjoying its presence and then you watch it go away...knowing that it will come back again.

I like dragonflies and I was recently watching a video on dragonflies and how they can travel long distances across the ocean. I didnt know that. The dragonfly also has a life span of about a year but  the time it spends as an adult is only about two months, the rest of the time, its either an egg or nymph. Which kind of makes it special  because it needs to live its life to the fully in the short time it has.... Some people say that  "Dragonflies can also be a symbol of the sense of self that comes with maturity. Also, as a creature of the wind, the dragonfly frequently represents change" ( dragonfly site.com) 
 
I can relate to that... if i wasnt a wandering dog... I would be a dragonfly!!