Hypocrite Dog!

My daughter once said to me when she was 4 years old, when I told her that she could not come to a party because it was for adults " we are not animals, we are people too, only smaller, we like parties too, why cant children come?"

And the answer " that's how things are" just wont work with her, her sense of right and wrong is very strong and she wont accept some lame answer. She was two and when someone reached out to give her a hug and kiss, she burst out into tears, when i asked her why, my daughter said " She didn't ask my permission"

Another time she was talking about how kids get carted around from one house to another when parents get divorced. Her solution, the kids should stay in the house and parents should take turns to move in and move out to be with the kids. She said " why should the children suffer when parents don't want to be with each other anymore" " why do they have to move from one house to another and have no place to call their own"

Some of her observations make me laugh but it also makes me think. One time she asked me if kids from broken homes could ever have a chance of finding a long term partner in their adult life considering that these kids haven't seen any kind intimacy because their parents don't have good relationships. This time when I laughed, she looked at me straight and said, "I am serious, tell me"

And just when I think she is all grown up, she will do something that reminds me that she is still a kid... (well... early teenager) ... like getting out the car with bare feet.

I believe that both my children keep me young, they challenge me and laugh at the things I say...making me realise how ridiculous I sound at times. They hold the mirror up to me because they expect me, as the adult to be congruent between what i say and what i do. And they are quick to point it out when I don't. My daughter suggested that I should write something about the hypocrite dog...ha..ha... because she feels that I don't follow some of the things I say, this is true at times... ( she says that if family is so important why am I blogging instead of spending time with her ). Maybe I write about things because it helps me clarify the messages I have to hear the most...makes sense to me. I also believe the people I work with and my friends are my family and my blog is a way of reaching out to my extended family, its my sanity piece.

When I talk about work and important meetings/conference calls, sometimes my children say "so what?" No matter what role I play at work, to them I am just their mum.

My daughter comes to my office almost everyday after school, even when I tell her not to. She leaves me alone to work but she doesn't understand why children cant come to the workplace to see their parents. In some ways, I agree with her, why is the work world so stuck up on titles and why do people find it strange to see a child at work with a parent? A colleague was telling me about how in some places in U.S they have pet friendly work places where people can bring their pets to work. He said it is believed that pets in the workplace help to create harmony in work environment. But pets cant talk and they don't have an opinion ( unless you understand dog talk! and some of us do) I don't need 360 evaluations when I have my children come to see me at work as they give me such blunt feedback on what I do/not do. And I value their perspective more than some consultant person because children are more honest and more connected with basic humanness than most of us as adults.
Work to me is a part of life and if its a part of life then, we need to see aspects of our life in the work place - our favourite things, paintings, family members dropping in and music. We talk about work life balance - we don't need to talk about that if we drew more of our life into the work place instead of compartmentalising everything and making the work place into a sterile, barren place that sucks the life out of us. I know that when one of my children come to my office to see me, they are find comfort in knowing where i am , even if they don't really talk to me much. In the same way, as a mother, I feel I can work longer and better if I knew they were somewhere safe around me.

Despite all the names they call me, its really heart warming and makes everything I do seem worthwhile when I sometimes hear them say ( just before they fall off to sleep) in their sleepy voice " Nite nite mummy, I love you , thank you for being my mummy.