Knock Knock..who's there?

How do you know if you trust someone?... has it got to do with how they look, what they say ...what we feel ? the history...eg. what they have done ...at which point do we decide to let them into our lives. If we trust someone, we draw them close and if we don't , we keep them at bay where we can watch them.

Our decision as to whether we trust someone or not, is usually made within seconds of meeting someone. It is not a conscious thing for many of us, its a gut feel or instinct. I find that after my first gut feel, i tend to either try to look for clues to prove me right or wrong...depending on how generous I am feeling...depending on whether I am in the mood to let this person into my life... these days I am shifting more and more to the generous side ...what have I got to lose? For some of us, its very visible to the other party, because we visibly show whether we are comfortable with them or not and some are better "actors" so its not that visible. People who take longer to let others into their life, usually tend to take longer to let someone out of their lives. This is because they view the world in an "us" and "them" mode. There is a clear separation between those who are in the trusted circle and those who are not. It is a form of protection and it also stems from a belief that you cant trust anyone until they have earned your trust/earned their place in your life. There is no real right or wrong way, its got to do with upbringing and what we have been taught about the world. If we grew up feeling that we cant trust anybody than naturally we tend to limit our world to a trusted few. But if we have a belief that most people are decent but there are a few exceptions, then you would tend to be more open and accepting of others and who you let into your life. You will also be able to let anyone who is not worthy of your trust, out of your life too. The other interesting thing is that we maybe very good at doing this in one part of our lives and yet we may not be able to do it in another part of our lives.. for eg. you may be good at making sound decisions at work but not in your own personal life.

Another aspect of trust that interests me, is our understanding of it... for some its integrity...meaning even if it a loved one , when someone is wrong, they are wrong... I tend to do that. I have told my children that if they do something to break the law, I will report them, that they cannot expect me to cover up just because they are my children. This may be shocking to some but in my world , I couldn't live with myself if I didn't do the 'right' thing! And I know others where Trust means loyalty...meaning even if they are wrong, you still need to be loyal to them no matter what and cannot blow the whistle. (never bite the hand that feeds you is a saying that some of us know) BUT we are still talking about trust. Imagine two people trying to connect on the word trust, one's view is based on integrity and the other based loyalty...will they ever see eye to eye?

Trust is important as it forms the basis of any relationship. If this is missing, then its hard to relate to someone. A doctor friend said once to me that there is no such thing as "half pregnant" you either are pregnant or you are not. And this is the same with relationships, you either trust someone or you don't.. at least that's my view. Yes sometimes , our trust is put in the wrong place or given to someone who doesn't deserve it.. and yes we do get hurt and feel like a fool when that happens. But I would rather be a fool any day in the name of trust then to shut someone out by mistake because they didn't meet my biases/ preferences. If you carry the belief that someone has to earn their trust before they can be trusted - how do you do that without giving the people around you the feeling that there are are two classes of society in your universe, those who are of higher class because they are in your "trusted body of advisers" and the second class citizens who have to earn they way. It creates a pecking order and many people do this unconsciously. And in a way these people create their own reality with their own mental " script"

The consciousness of the world as a whole needs to be changed in order to sustain our future here. Some people believe that if only 1% of of all people changed, the consciousness of all human beings will shift... the cynics will sit there are ask those who make this statement to validate it... but why bother to do that...even if one person shifts in consciousness , its still worthwhile. " If I change, my world changes" and trusting in the goodness of others is a good way to start. For me, its the only way and maybe I am being selfish when I say this but I am doing it for me ...not for anyone else because its tiring to have to look over your shoulders all the time to see who is behind you. It's alot easier to trust in the goodness of others and lift your own energy to a higher vibration to attract good into your life. And to view the occasional bad as an opportunity to learn , grow and strenghten your position in the world that good prevails over bad always!. That its still a good world!