meetings 101

Majority of meetings are a bloody waste of time... the only people who like meetings are probably the people who call for the meeting in the first place.
These are my observations of meetings and what i am really thinking on the inside when i sit in one of these meetings:

1. read the bloody report stupid before you ask redundant questions and waste every body's time!
2. stop being a smart ass and trying to show that you are smarter than the rest by asking "smart" questions that don't mean anything
3. if you are going to open your mouth , say something useful, otherwise shut up
4. stop repeating what someone else said and making it look like your idea
5. look at the others in the room, they are people too, not just the "boss" , same for bosses - stop just talking to your "pets"...why bother having other people in the room if you just wanted to talk to one or two people?
6. stop messaging people in the room - its pretty obvious
7. don't ask for feedback , if you don't know how to take feedback,tell everyone that its a rhetoric question so no one misunderstands and really gives feedback
8. don't ridicule people for the suggestions they come up with -- at least they try instead of standing at the sidelines and jeering like monkeys
9. don't leave the room on the pretext of going to the restroom and not come back for ages or have tea and biscuits outside the meeting room
10.don't wait until the end of the meeting to ask what the meeting is about.
11. don't talk about people who are not in the room or throw people who are not in the room into a " boiling pot of hot oil" just because they are not there to defend themselves or beat you to a pulp.
12. don't gang up on people who have differing views from you, they can add to the meeting, be more mature and accept differences...its a part of life
13. stop trying to be a control freak and micro manage every detail, some deviations are good and could lead to better outcomes.
14. differentiate between types of meetings and set the tone accordingly for eg. don't have people sitting in a formal setting when you want to brain storm or get ideas...pretty obvious actually!!
15. inject life into the meeting , balance it out, there must be give and take, don't just suck their life out and give back nothing.
16. stop agreeing with everything the boss says, have you no thoughts of your own?
17.the aim of a meeting is to have dialogue, if its just to download information, put it in a newsletter!
18. people cant work if they get stuck in meetings all the time. Be mindful of other people's time. Super long meetings are cruel - they numb the brain!