The dog is back...

Today I received many mother's day wishes.. I was talking to a friend about this and she said that it was about honoring mothers. Even though she is not a mother, someone who works for her sent her a message too. I told her that I don't really see my mother role as something that needs to be acknowledged. Most times, I like being a mother and that's a gift in itself. I asked her why we don't have a brother's day or daughter's day... why not just have a relationship day or something? She laughed and agreed with me that its over rated at times. I know many men friends who cant travel on Mother's day as they will be in the 'dog house' if they did. Do we really need these commercial world creations to celebrate mothers of the world... What about just celebrating relationships ... what about celebrating relationships on a day to day basis by how we live?

I had to interview someone the other day and I made it a point to not to read the candidate's resume before the interview. When asked why, I said that I wanted to meet the real person and where they are at now versus just looking at a paper trail on where they have been. I find that that when i don't have all the "data' about someone's past coming at me, I can make better decisions based on my intuition. I also tend to pay more attention to what they are saying versus seeing them through the filters I have created from reading the individual's resume. I learnt more about the candidate's values, life ,family and driving forces. I think both of us enjoyed a much better level of interaction versus a normal interview.

I have been traveling with a business partner ( and friend) lately and by watching him, I learnt a number of things about how he relates to people. He always made it a point to talk to everyone he came in contact with. He also acknowledged their presence. for eg. he would take the extra time to ask the waiter who was serving us about how he was was or what kind of a day he has had...my friend would really listen and engage in a short conversation with those he dealt with. He always shook the hand of the chef/ waiter who served us/ or the driver who took us to the airport and thanked them for doing an excellent job in looking after us. And it was genuine, it wasn't superficial conversation because it was different each time. Even when he gave negative feedback, it was always very polite, quiet, strong and yet loving. When I spoke to him about this, he said that how we talk to someone affects the other person and he said " when you upset someone , they are no longer listening to your feedback and instead focusing on their hurt" and he felt that this was not useful to anyone except to help the person who is angry vent. If you want to vent...why not find a pillow or punching bag...why hurt a fellow human being? I think its because we tend to hold our frustrations inside us and only let it come out when it reaches boiling point... so people who are around us the most get the brunt of it or sometimes it is the people we know the least eg. service staff who happen to be at the 'wrong place, wrong time"

My friend taught me that there are better ways to relate to people and reach out to them. which brings me to the 'special" days we celebrate like mother's day, birthdays and anniversaries. Why do we need to save it for a special day... why not make most days special and celebrate life and people by looking at what works like my friend did during our recent travels. What kind of an impact /impression do we want to leave in other peoples' lives ... a positive one I hope. We create a ripple effect every time we interact with someone else.. we send out waves into the world - they can be positive or negative. Makes me think about the taxi I drove in yesterday, I overheard the taxi driver speaking on the phone, it was probably his wife who was ringing to ask if he had wished his mum and he said, that he had wished everyone ...but there was something about the way he said it..he was happy and he meant it. When we got off the taxi , he turned around and wished the male friend who was traveling with me " happy mother's day" and of course he wished me too. On one hand , I kind of giggled thinking that he wished a man but on the other hand, I thought, " why not?" everyone has a mother somewhere and its not really about mothers, fathers or any of the roles we play... it about relationships and really living life fully! Happy Relationship Day...everyday!!