My dad passed away 2 years ago on this day. I have been very aware of this day especially as it drew closer. I was worried for my mum ... if this day would make her sad or nostalgic. This morning, I asked her if she was going to the temple, and she looked a little confused until I reminded her about what day it was. She said that she was thinking about this day but somehow lost track of the days..it happens but I see this as a good thing. It tells me that her life is busy and full. This morning, I commented about how temporary life is.... about how life carries on like nothing happened after we die....its like if we never existed in the first place. To this my mum replied, that its more important to think about what we do when we are alive and not how we are remembered after we die.
We make so much of endings, probably because we don't do enough for the ones we love while they are alive. I like my mum's pragmatic approach to life. In her words "all of us have to go one day" . My mum was married to my dad for 68 years and till the time he died, she was by his bed side looking after his every need. We always said that my dad should go first because he wouldn't know what to do without my mother.
Today, I read about our Senior Minister, father of Singapore, Mr. Lee Kuan Yew, and how he sits by his ailing wife's bedside and reads to her for 2 hours every evening. I was very touched by the article that was written by his daughter, describing how she admires her father's commitment to her mother.
It is what we do for our loved ones when they are alive that matters, this is why my mum is at peace with herself , knowing that she has given her best to her relationship with my dad. I wish I had the experience of that kind of a deep love, one that withstands the tests that life throws at us. One that carries on even after someone dies.
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