" there are two things we should give our children: one is roots and the other is wings ( Hodding Carter)
It made me smile when I read that. I remember when I was 15 years old, I said that I wanted to own an island....my brother laughed and said "i know the kind of island you will own ... the kind that goes under water in high tide" ....my aunt who heard our banter said to me that if manage to make half the money for the island, that she will pay the other half...she gave me wings.
Depending who I spoke to and depending on their upbringing and belief system...they either clipped my wings or they encouraged me to soar high.
The funny thing is, most times when someone clipped my wings, they had my best interest at heart....i don't think they ever intentionally went out of their way to stop me from growing or flying high. Often these well intentioned people don't want us to get hurt... like the other seagulls in Johnathan Livingston Seagull... they were trying to protect me... but they were also trying to keep me from changing too much because that would mean that they have to change...its only natural ... when something shifts ...everything else needs to shift to accommodate that shift.
I understand this as an adult but I don't think I understood much of this as a child, or as a young person who wasn't emotionally mature.
Someone told me that it is impossible to deal with some of these " programs" in adult mode, that we have to view them as a child and feel the emotions or fear we felt when the incident occurred.
and then, there's balance...how much of our lives do we spend dealing with past hurts...when do we move on, when do we live in the present.
I don't have the answers, I just know that I have to do whatever it takes in any given moment to live fully...if it means dealing with some ugly "monster' from the past... I do it , I don't sweep it under the carpet for later. These days... I catch myself when i try to postpone being in the moment ...for example..last night, my daughter wanted me to help her make popcorn...a part of me just wanted to be lazy ...as i was half reading and half sleeping.. but it was one small opportunity to bond with her and enjoy a moment with her. So I went downstairs with her to do that and teach her how to "pop" corn.
When I make time for my children..when I let them know that I love them... when i appreciate them...I give them roots... they dont just grow ...they glow. When I listen to their dreams and encourage them ...even if what they want seems " unreachable to me" ......these are times when their wings start to grow. Who am I to think that I know whats best for them or what they can do??? ... or what they are meant to do ? Did any of the parents of famous people know that their child would do something to impact the world... maybe some.... but i doubt the majority of them knew. When we listen to their dreams and when we acknowldege their aspirations ...we give them wings so that when they do fly, they get into a full flight and really soar with confidence... we dont know where they will land but that does not matter as much because if they knew how to fly , they can easily take off and find another place if the one they landed on is not to their liking! ...because they have the roots that to ground them and the wings to give flight to their their dreams.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment