who says an old dog cant learn new tricks?...

Someone I had lunch with yesterday asked me to write about the transition one makes from being a manager to leader.

One of my managers told me that if i had asked her what she knew about her role a year ago , she would have said everything and if i asked her the same question today, she would have said nothing. I said" congratulations you have finally arrived, you are a leader"

Many bosses forget that their employees don't expect them to know everything, infact they usually expect their boss to know less than them. What they look for is the life experience and wisdom to help them navigate through challenges they face. Quite often , it may not even be work related.

Most of my discussions with my team centre around relationship dynamics, vision and looking ahead at possible challenges, what i would have done in a given scenario and bouncing ideas off each other.

Most often they have the answers and sometimes their answers are way better than mine. I see myself as a facilitator to assist those I work with to arrive at decisions that will help them and the company.

Leadership is an on-going journey, you never quite arrive, rather than skills and competency, I think its an attitude.


1. Lead from the heart -keep striving for a better solution, there is always a solution that fits, one that is designed for the highest good of all concerned. It may not be visible sometimes when we make the decision but in the mid to longer term, it always works out for the better. Sometimes pain is good, it wont always be a bed of roses.
2. Being aware of decisions and communication that stem from ego. When this happens, somebody loses or somebody gets hurt. Taking yourself out of the equation and working out what is best for a given situation, requires maturity and confidence in yourself
3. Don't get sucked into dramas like the moth to the fire. This takes discipline, in learning to rise above and showing empathy without being emotionally drained
4. Look at the lighter side of things, give people a break, don't be so harsh in your judgements - why judge in the first place. Value judgements make others around you want to defend themselves and you are seeing things through your own filters. How about seeing things through someone else's filters and life experience. I often catch myself thinking " if i were this person with the kind of life experience he/she has been exposed to, would i respond in the same way" I realise, when i do this , that I probably would have done alot worse than the person I am "judging." The saying " walking a mile in another person's shoes" really rings true for me. It makes me more compassionate.
5. Leading from the heart and being compassionate does not mean that you are a pushover or a "softie" My mum taught be this, she is quiet and loving but she is strong...very strong. Its about being able to say" i love you but i hate the way you work, if you don't fix it, you are demonstrating that you don't want to work here anymore and that's ok, we can still be friends outside of work." There is no need for a villain or bad person, that's only in the movies, in all my years, I have never seen a completely evil person, they may be bad to you but they too have a family and loved ones. I am not saying that there are no bad people out there , I am saying that " they may be out there but they are not a part of my life and my belief system"
6. Speaking of beliefs, this is key. Most people don't wake up in the morning with a plan to "screw up" their career/job. This one belief is so important to anyone managing a group of people. I also ask myself " if i made that mistake, how would i have reacted." There are people who think that most people are lazy and need to be driven. This attitude stems from fear based thinking and it comes from an attitude that everyone out there wants to take advantage of others. It also has an underlying belief that they are the saviours, no one else knows better. People who think like this , don't deserve the privilege to lead.
7. Work is a part of Life, just one part. Stop making it the main theme. Recognise that even if you don't have a life outside of work , others do. It took me a long time to learn this one because i always felt that everyone wanted to excel in their career and grow.... how arrogant of me to think that? Some people just want to come into work , do their job and go home. and Why not??
8. Don't be frivolous with remarks and what you say about someone else. This is a hard one, sometimes we all get caught in the moment. I am still learning this one. When I go home, i ask myself " Am I proud to be me? Did I behave and speak in manner that was respectful of others "...not always.
9. Give people a chance to come up with the answers, sometimes you have to let them "stew" instead of jumping in to tell them what to do

Leadership is an attitude, this is why some people thrive whilst others struggle. Its a gift that the others around us, including those we lead, bestow upon us. It is a truly humbling experience.