All ok...

Whenever i stop writing, i get nudged by friends who send me messages to write my next blog.... they say, it helps them keep track of me...to know where my mind is and what I am up to.

So as I write this, I am thinking about what stood out for me this week. Balance and Routines come to mind. I have been fighting my kids all month to get them into a routine.... simple things like sleeping on time, or having breakfast/regular meals, eating healthy, having enough exercise..etc. On one level they are routines and on another level, they help ground us and give us a sense of well being.

I worry about my children ... I worry about their school and how they cope, if they are happy, if they are balanced, their outlook to life and if they will make the grades to do the courses of their choice. I get concerned that there is a disconnect ...they don't see the connection between what they do now and how it will shape their future....... but Seriously...Why should they?
I think about me , when I was their age, I had no concept of the future, my life was NOW and everything that happened in the moment was so BIG!
Am I missing something?... have I become too much of an adult that I have forgotten what it was like when i was their age? How would I have reacted if my parents said the things I am saying now? .... even worse...have I become my mum or dad?
How do I alter my approach as to not push them away and to let them know that they are not judged and that I love them. (... but I am judging them, arent I?)

As adults, we tend to worry too much, we take present behaviour and plot it into the future ...I know my parents thought that I would end up dropping out of school and becoming some sort of a "gang leader" ... because I was always getting into trouble, mainly around rules and routines.
At least my parents got the "leader" part right because I became a business leader.

Which brings me to yesterday, I decided that my present time with my children is more important and I spent the day, just "being" there with them. I gave my daughter a massage, sat and talked to my son while he ate his favourite ice cream. Made jokes and laughed at their jokes and watched TV with them instead of doing my e-mails. Something shifted, could have been me or them but I feel better. They are not going to be school drop outs and beach bums... they are OK...we are all OK! What we look for is what we get, if I keep focusing on what's negative about them instead of their good qualities, then this is what I will magnify in my world. Besides the "good kids" never have as much fun as kids who push the boundaries a bit and are truthful about it. When my kids get sent to detention class in school , they tell me. And even if they break school rules and home rules, I know that they know the boundaries when it comes to society and community. This to me is more important. Many kids don't notice beggars on the street, my kids always want to give them some money. Many kids don't notice old people or someone who may need a hand to open a door or cross the street but mine do. They even know how to keep their rooms clean and when it gets messy, I can see them sorting things out and clearing up. Looking after self, looking after others... the foundation is there, lets see what they build upon it. I wait eagerly to see this, in they own way they will leave their mark on the planet because they are awesome kids ( people..actually) ... but hey... I am biased...they are my kids! Maybe all i need to do is to celebrate their goodness and greatness ... and in the process everything else will fall into place because when I relax about the future, I allow creativity to flow freely, I hear more... and it helps me give them what they really need to support them in their journey into adulthood. I can do more by doing less... how neat is that? ...but isn't that the way of the universe... doing more with less and letting things run on their own momentum and having faith that things always turn out exactky as it should and for our highest good?